Thursday, September 18, 2008

Gimme Toxins

I stopped ingesting most caffeine at least five years ago, because of the physical effects it has on me. I still had decaf coffee and tea everyday, and chocolate was never off the rotation, but compared to my full-freight coffee addiction up to that point I effectively kicked the habit. I was sufficiently off the stuff that any full force cuppa would send me into an anxiety attack.

That is, until last month. While on a family vacay, where only my BIL also had a affection for the sludgy stuff and the caffeine-y sludgy stuff at that, I relented and had regular coffee every morning. And the effects were not that bad, such that when I got home and ran out of decaf one morning, I bought a half hazelnut half decaf large coffee from the shop next to my office. And I have been doing so nearly every morning since, destroying not only my caffeine ban but also my determination to only get coffee when I had my reusable mug with me, and to make it myself at home to save money. Sigh. What the drugs will do. Then I made the mistake of cracking open Skinny Bitch, an exercise I do not recommend to anyone wishing to keep a fragile self esteem intact, and they're all like It's Poison And If You Can't Get Through The Day Without It You're A Pussy. Seriously. So now I am an addicted toxic weak polluting mess. With anxiety. Sigh.

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